What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My hand turned me down
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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