I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
