Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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