Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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