some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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