She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
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oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
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I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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