My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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