Are we in a gay sports bar?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
