dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
