We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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