love makes seman taste better
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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