Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
