whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
