I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
