Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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