Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Randomize
