bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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