So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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