we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
