What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have aggressive nipples.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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