It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
