So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
