If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
