So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
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alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
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It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.