just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
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you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
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Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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