Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Semen is not good for contacts.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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