Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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