Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's blow job season.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
