My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
