tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
