So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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