I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
