I'm drive I can fine osifer
no, he came in my armpit
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
