you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
