Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
