im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
