My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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