Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
