dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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