I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
All I want is dick and wine.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize