so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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