Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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