He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
