is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
