You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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