You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
