dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize