It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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