If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
