I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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