I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize