I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize