My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
