does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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