im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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