New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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