I think im going to throw up on grandma
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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