Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
