from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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