so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
