i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
