I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
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It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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